Memorial Day Weekend 2012…

4 Jun

Another weekend at Hell’s Kitchen and was it a rough one!!  Ginger was my copilot, poor little thing everyone wanted to pet her, it’s a wonder a sold anything!! lol

I need to go back to Friday so I don’t forget any of this.

After the week from Hell regarding the upcoming nuptials of my Red Rocket, we decided to meet in the city out our favorite restaurant, Mortons.

I decided if this relationship was going to be over at least I would look my absolutely best!! I wasnt going out looking beaten women!!

$280 later… highlights, hair done, full face of make up and the sexy jumpsuit I bought in 2008 and never wore and I was off.

we met in the city and the look in his face was worth every penny! he knew i pulled it together i wasnt going to look like i had been thru hell all week.

we sat at the bar and went thru all the paperwork that tied us together and now came the tears!!

i was ready to walk away!!

now i have to go back a little, somewhere in his mind he thought when we had talked about having kids and we all also had some of the most horrific fights over the last 12 years that if we did every get married, he would be raked over the coals if it ended in divorce and he would be nothing more that a weekend dad or the same would go if we ever wanted to adopt a child.

im 46 now and going thru menopause. my child-bearing years are over and being a convicted felon there is not way i would ever adopt unless we did it privately and we would be looking over $100k.

the funny thing, i honestly dont want a child anymore. my 2 beautiful nieces are enough for me. as they live in ATL i see them a few times a year and again that’s enough for me.

i now cringe when i hear a kid scream or cry. now don’t get me wrong, there’s a little part of me that misses not having my own baby, but i blew that! 2 abortions later and the fact that i killed someone in 2003 (i’ll explain this later) i figured this was god’s punishment to me.

getting back to friday at mortons. i decided to take the high road here. now i know, this girl that he proposed marriage to is about 15 years younger than him and he met her in a stripe club, imagine he wants to marry a  stripper!! what a joke, oh btw, she’s a russian immigrant. think she looking for a green card??

so, i said to him, if you truly love her and want to have babies, go marry her!! now here’s the best part according to him, he said “i don’t know if i love her, but i do know i do i love you” can you say mid-life crises?? oy vey!!

Ginger and i are going to the beach now… more later.

Back from the beach, what a glorious day!! Ginger and I went to the beach w/ D and her husband C.

when i get emotional i blurt everything out, i should know better not to do this with certian people as this always bites me in the ass . all day i had to listen to D go on and on about Red Rocket,  what an asshole he is and how he never loved me, cause if he did he wouldn’t have done this to me.

Thank god i didn’t tell her i had dinner with him friday night or that he also came in on saturday.

sex with Red Rocket at most times, it was just fair, sometimes good, and rarely amazing!!

friday was good, saturday was amazing!!!

now i know i shouldnt have done it,  he’s engaged!! but if there was a chance that he remembered that amazing sex and the last 12 years of of all the good w had and calls off this ridiculous shame of a wedding it was worth it! and if he doesn’t then he has to live with has to live with himself,  i will survive if he doesn’t leave her. i think he’s coming in tomorrow,  i gave him the weekend to figure out what he wants. so i guess I’ll know soon enough if we’re going to survive this and stay together or he’s married!!

let’s get back to Robert K. my first Prince Charming. My Robbie had everything, he was jewish, came from an amazing family, he was brilliant, and driven to succeed, which he did, but i guess how could he not, he was handed his family’s business on a silver platter, but I’ll give him his just due, he and  his brother Richie took the business the business to a whole other level.

right before i met Robbie i was a wild. i mean really wild. i was already getting high, drinking, and having more sex than any 15-year-old should have had.

what the hell was i thinking, what the hell was i doing???

i wanted to be free of my parents choke hold on me. so, i ran away from home. 

i always saw the freedom my friends had and my parents especially my mother was always controlling me.

when i left elementary school there were 2 junior high school. mark twain for the gifted and talented and Reynold’s, that’s where everyone else went.

i wanted to take dance & singing  as my talent, my mother made me take creative writing and something else that now i cant remember.

needless to say i ended up at Reynolds, BIG MISTAKE!!


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